What’s The Antonym of Loneliness?
#1 Communal Care
“Living is consecutively awareness and loneliness
Whether you have many people around you or not
The little me inside myself was always lonely
Why is there no opposite word of loneliness?”
(Note: Please correct me if my interpretation of the ecological systems theory is inaccurate; I would be very thankful if you are willing to share your insight.)
I’ve been reading the theory of ecological systems by Urie Bronfenbrenner since I was introduced to it in KAIL class. He wrote, in addition to individual factors, we are currently formed from the roles of the system around us. There are microsystems, mesosystems, exosystems, macrosystems, and chronosystems. The role of the system and the environment is very influential in our development as humans.
I remember back then, during my session, my psychologist reminds me that in PRH way, life is essentially your connection with others. Your connection with your family, your connection with a home, and “home” as in a safe place, your connection with your work, and your workmates. Even your connection with yourself. You essentially are and always will be connected with other “system”. I would love to write more about “Karang, Kuring, Kurung” as in Sundanese wisdom but maybe some other time.
Well-being for people with mental health problems will be easier when the surrounding systems provide support. Healing isn’t linear, and I think it will certainly take extra time and effort for, for example, survivors of sexual violence to recover when the values that are developed and given space are patriarchy, the habit of blaming victims, and the normalization of rape culture.
Family and friends who are concerned and willing to learn together, a humane environment and educational scope, a non-oppressive workplace, a non-authoritarian system and side with marginalized groups, etc., will certainly help the recovery process for those who live it.
People’s awareness of mental health issues has increased recently, and I am really grateful for that. Social media also clearly plays a big role in spreading awareness about the importance of mental health. Unfortunately, in my opinion, the current social media that is too focused on self-care, self-healing, self-love, and self-improvement makes us escape the fact that there are things outside of us that also need to be “emphasized” to change and improve.
The concept of mental well-being that is too individualized makes us often blame ourselves for not recovering temporarily without realizing it; there is an oppressive system, structural inequality, and a toxic environment that keeps us feeling that way.
After years of self-healing, it seems like it will be difficult if we continue to overwork, then we don’t cooperate with office children, and the system backs it up to create work that doesn’t make sense. All procedures involved must improve, not only ourselves. And as someone who has been consistently seeing counselors and psychologists and working “on myself,” let me tell you there is only so much individual introspection and healing; you can do this when the structural forces and external events contribute to mental illness continue acting on you.
Self-care and self-healing are important, but we must remember that we are not alone. So it is important to find the environment and people who want to support and accompany our journey.
It is also worth bearing in mind that something that is not less important is to voice and demand systemic change so that mental well-being can be achieved together. And lastly, it is also important for us to be a good support system and a safe place for the people around us.
Individualized wellness culture gaslights people into thinking the problem and the solution lies within themselves. I think that is really the cause of loneliness these days. We are necessarily social beings, and these days we emphasize individualized wellness.
The truth is we don’t really have a supportive society, and it needs to improve for us to be truly well. I found understanding this empowering rather than demoralizing, to be honest. I understand why I developed these coping mechanisms and what they are in response to. I am trying to build better ones while also campaigning to improve society somewhat.
